My Garden of Thoughts: Reflection #6 -- Various Forms of Parents & Children

https://www.bgsu.edu/arts-and-sciences/center-for-family-demographic-research.html

 

    Defining family is not as simple as it used to be. In fact, research now identifies various forms of what families, parents, and children look like now and how those outcomes came about.

In chapter 3 of our textbook, it sets out to explain that even though the structures, challenges, and resources of each family is different, " all families are similar in what they represent to family members" (pg. 63). This means that family bonds have almost an equal effect on family members whether the family is a traditional form or not. The textbook argues that though families may vary greatly in outward appearance, it's the emotional and physical support found within these family systems that makes it work so well.

    The chapter outlined different forms of family structures: adoption, surrogate parents, grandfamilies, divorce, teenage parenting, LGBTQ families, immigrant families, and military families. Research used to focus heavily on nuclear family forms, where a dad, mother, and children were present. However, with several changes in law policies, the economy, the foster care system, and adoption rules, family structures have taken on new forms. When reading through these different types of families, I saw a common theme among them. Children (and adolescent parents who are still minors) had the best adjustment to life changes when they had at least one adult in their life who showed warmth, affection, and support. This was true for children navigating the foster care system and it was also true of adolescent fathers who seemed to stay committed to their child if the adolescent mother's family was supportive of him. For all various walks of life, the main factor that appears to hold families together is parents who share egalitarian roles and seek to support their children.

    I have personally seen the affects of adoption on a family up close. In high school I had a friend whose family adopted 3 boys from Africa (all at different times). When they adopted the first boy, David, my friend told me that his parents took the time to ask all of their biological children how they felt about this adoption and what their concerns or worries were. This made my friend feel important and noticed during the process of adding another child to their family. However, he told me that when his parents went to adopt the next 2 boys from Africa, Isaac and John, they did not discuss it very much with him and his biological siblings. I could tell that it was difficult for my friend to try and navigate having adopted sibling and parents' whose attention was split between their biological children and adopted children. Though his parents were loving and supportive, adding 3 new children to their family took an emotional toll on their biological children. I think the textbook was right that adoption has to be done correctly and sensitively in order to have a positive outcome and influence on the children.

    In my own life, I have often thought about one day becoming a foster parent. When I was younger, my mom used to read a book series to my sisters and I before bed, it was called The Elizabeth Gail Series. The series centered around the adventures of a girl named Elizabeth as she went through the foster care system. It also depicted much of the textbook's acknowledgement of foster children needing to have stable home environment and loving parents. If my husband and I find ourselves in a place in the future where we could financially and emotionally support a foster child, I would love to be a part of that opportunity. I think more people should be involved with making sure there is no such thing as a lonely, forgotten child. 

- E.