My Garden of Thoughts: Reflection #8 -- Children's Socialization

 

https://www.liquidplanner.com/blog/3-tips-for-effective-communication-on-remote-teams/

    In chapter 4 of our textbook this week, the discussion centered around the socialization of children and how their parents' behavioral techniques have a huge impact on their interpersonal skills. After taking time to address the parenting strategies that were most effecting in preventing children's misbehavior, the authors went on the stress how important the concept of trust was between adults and children. A strategy of encouragement usually fosters this trust and becomes an authoritative model of parenting that can allow for the growth of a child's ability to follow authority. The chapter also outlined key attitudes and behaviors in parents that were positive or negative and what the consequences of these behaviors would produce if used. Before moving onto techniques of positive reinforcement, the authors detailed how parents needed to learn how to communicate and effectively listen in an active way with their children. This set them up for success when it came to voicing their wishes or concerns to their children. Lastly, the textbook outlined what limitations and consequences placed on children should look like and how parents could address the conflict that might arise out of these situations.

    One of the most important topics that was listed within the textbook was the section that discussed Effective Parent–Child Communication as a parenting strategy. This method of parenting was the only one in the chapter that focused on a skill that would aid the parent in all other areas of parenting techniques for socialization that the textbook explored. In this strategy the key to success was being able to actively listen to one's child and explain one's feelings in a personal way, rather than a deflective way that placed guilt on the child. Effective communication can allow children to "promote self-discipline" in themselves and even self-regulate their behaviors by critically thinking about the outcome of their decisions (pg. 112). The outcome of a child who can self-regulate their actions and emotions has serious benefits for both parents and the entire family. When parents use I-messages, they display to their child what it means to take ownership for one's feelings and behaviors. This fosters empathy and responsibility in children, which is beneficial for helping them form meaningful and healthy relationships with other people outside their family.

    I have learned about I-messages in other classes, but it has been in context of intimate relationship conflict resolution so I found today's reading helpful. In child development classes, they teach Albert Bandura's findings of how important parental behaviors are because children love to imitate those they have interactions with on a daily basis. However, speech is often one of the underrepresented forms of  behavior that we discuss even though it has a major impact on a child's relationships. After today's reading, I realized that there is a correlation between how children learn to communicate effectively from their parents and how they will communicate with their significant others in the future. When parents make the choice to actively listen to, engage with, and communicate their responsibility and mistakes with their children they are setting them up for success in interpersonal relationships the child will have later on in life. 

When I become a Parent Educator, I want to be able to express this point effectively to parents that I might teach in future curriculums. In order to do this, I think I will ask the parents in the curriculum group if they've ever experienced tensions, conflict, or major set backs in their adult relationships. Once they describe a situation that fits this question and we have a discussion centered on it, I will tie into how their approach in communication with their children can help them maybe avoid some of the experiences they've personally had in their adult relationships. I will explain the importance of their communication and how they have the power to influence their children's relational success or failure in the future. When parents learn how to their actions today could effect their kids' interactions years down the road, I believe it can help them learn how to incorporate the skills that the chapter in the textbook outlined this week.

- E.