My Garden of Thoughts: Reflection #15 -- Parent-Adolescent Interactions

 

https://chadd.org/for-parents/parenting-teens-with-adhd/

    Parenting adolescents might be considered to be even more difficult than navigating the "terrible twos" during the toddler stage of a child. Parents have to begin to adjust to the need for more and more independence from their teenager as they watch them grow up. In the textbook this week, it addressed the topic of adolescent-parent relationships and how much the parent's role shifts from intervening care to watchful care. This means that parents must learn how to let their adolescent child make decisions for themselves and not intervene simply to take control of the situation. Instead, parents must be watchful of their adolescent's growth and development, but they aren't the only ones making the decisions anymore.

    At this stage in a teenager's life, the textbook makes it clear that in order for them to thrive in external settings outside the home, they need to have a secure attachment to their parents. This allows them to have more self-esteem and confidence because they have built and practiced important skills, like communication and conflict resolution, in a safe place where they could learn from their mistakes. Along with helping with adolescent's socio-emotional development, parents should be on the lookout for ways that they can come alongside their teenage child during the onset of puberty. At this time in a adolescent's life, puberty can dramatically change the way they perceive and interact with others around them. The hormones that come from puberty have often given teenagers the label of "rebellious" because they tend to engage in more conflict in the family unit and at school. Parents who wish to go through this time successfully with their adolescents should try their best to help their child maintain a healthy lifestyle so that the onset of puberty does not start too early or too late. Having a healthy weight contributes to less problematic issues that come with an early start to puberty. Parents can also successfully navigate the added conflictual behavior from their teenager by learning how to have a balance approach to tensions that arise. Studies have shown that the better a parent has developed skills to effectively communicate and reason with their adolescent during conflict, the easier it will be to overcome the period of fighting that sometimes comes when adolescents are going through physical changes.

    In my experience, I can attest to the fact that puberty is definitely easier to go through when the parents are understanding. My parents were very patient with me when I was in high school. Many times, I didn't know why I was feeling angry or sad. I would lash out at my family members or talk back to my parents when I clearly knew what the consequences of disobeying them were. If my parents snapped back at me when I lashed out at them, it made me even more angry, but this was rarely the case. My dad was really great about  calmly talking to me when I was angry or sad and it helped me learn how to regulate my emotions when they were intense. When I become a parent, I want to remember that it is better to remain calm and collected when my future children are experiencing adolescence. As long as I foster good communication and empathy with them in our relationship, then we will be able to successfully go through the hormonal and physical changes they will experience together.

- E.