My Garden of Thoughts: Reflection #20 -- Families at Risk or Dealing with the Death of a Family Member

 

https://news.usc.edu/167724/covid-19-death-family-parent-grandparent-grief-usc-research/

        Even though the topic of this week's reading is heartbreaking, the textbook offers multiple reminders of why it is so important to discuss the impacts of family violence and the death of a family member. In both cases, it is the children who suffer the most mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

    When it comes to violence within the family, children and women are the most common victims. Public policy and objection to child abuse did not start until the early 60s, but now modern society takes a strong stance against the neglect and mistreatment of young children. Protection services often have to get involved with either an informal or formal intervention when child abuse is discovered in a home. In addition to abusive situations, there may be lesser forms of violence often masked under the guise of an alcoholic or drug-addicted parent. Even if the parent doesn't use any physical violence on their child, their addictive behaviors can force the child to fit into roles that require too much responsibility or inflict too much emotional trauma. Houses with an addict parent cause a disruption in the family unit and children cope in many unhealthy ways in order to adapt to the disfunction going on. To fix these scenarios, parents will be required or encouraged to seek help through intervention programs, like the AA, so that they can recover and be able to provide a stable environment and family bond for their children.

    Another challenge that families face is the death of a family member. It could be the death of a sibling, parent, or even a grandparent--either way, children tend to incur the most mental and emotional suffering and pain in the event of a death of a loved one. Not only is the organization of a family destabilized when a death happens, but the recovery time is often extremely extended and lengthy. when a sibling dies, parents often blame themselves for the death and lack the ability to support their other children who are also grieving. This can be especially difficult because children already struggle to understand what death means at a young age. Navigating that time without the help of a guardian or parent can place even more stress on a child. Thus, in times where a death has occurred, it is wise for family members or parents to make sure the children going through the loss receive the necessary tools needed to process, talk about, and understand the death. This allows healing to take place and makes sure the child does not suffer alone.

    Death is a issue that can be traumatic to navigate. I remember the first time I learned what death and suicide meant. I came back from summer camp and was told by my parents that my uncle had passed away by suicide while I was gone. I didn't understand that it meant he would be gone forever and I wouldn't be able to talk to him anymore. It was especially hard to see his daughters go through such a sad time grieving the loss of their father. I learned that death meant lots of tears and several years of pain. But my parents made sure I knew that I didn't have to endure any pain alone--they would be there to help me process it and make sure I was okay. It is important to have role models who allow you to grieve and who help explain what next steps to take when you're overwhelmed with sadness.

- E.