My Garden of Thoughts: Reflection #25-- Circle of Security

 

https://www.bitrise.io/why/features/security

    Children's need for attachment and exploration often go unaddressed by parents. In order to build a healthy attachment, parents must look for ways that they can be sensitive to their child's need for security and development. In a method called Circle of Security, parents learn to observe themselves and how they interact with their children. Much of these observations about themselves allows them to explore old feelings or experiences they had when they were younger and how it might influence their parenting today. 

    In the approach of the Circle of Security, they seek to use intervention as a way to teach parents to be more sensitive to their children. They also incorporate different methods, including "a 20-week psychoeducational/therapeutic group, an 8-week DVD  psychoeducation  group,  and a four-session in-home intervention" (pg. 1). These approaches offer current research on techniques that are efficient and successful for parents. The Circle of Security differs from other intervention methods because it helps teach parents how to form relationships with their children and enables them to function as a secure haven for their child. Often strong or intense emotions can hijack the learning process for parents. They might have the best intensions to be a parent, but their past experiences or feelings that stem from stressful events in their own lives can intrude on the methods they use to interact with their child. In order to address this problem, the COS helps parents find a more stable emotional state so they can rear their children out of a proactive posture rather than a reactive posture.

    The skills that Topham explores within the article align with topics, such as, observational or inferential skills, reflective functioning, emotional regulation, and empathy. All of these skills, when developed fully in parents, allows them to meet the deeper needs of their children, which is the need for secure attachment and proof of consistent and loving behavior. This teaches the child that they can rely on their parent in any situation. Once they can rely on an authority figure, they learn how to form bonds of trust and extend themselves to more people in social situations. Parent's need to have appropriate responses to their children's needs, but often this doesn't occur due to their own lack of emotional and mental support. The COS offers a way for parents to learn how to "put their own oxygen mask on" before "assisting someone else", as the metaphor goes. Having the courage and strength to explore areas that need improvement in parents is valuable and should be encouraged by any facilitators trying to educate parents. The effects of teaching parents how to heal from their past to better their children's futures is profound.

    In the past, I think programs only had part of the equation right: they focused only on the techniques parents used with their children. While attempting to shape the behavior of their child by only working on their outward approach might have helped many parents, it's effects were not long lasting. Only when parent educators work on the inward matters of parents hearts and mental health will they being to see enduring changes that are positive. When parents learn how to interact with their children by addressing their own trauma and experiences that have been painful, they begin to connect emotionally with their child. I believe this causes the child to respect their parent more and being to form feelings of trust towards them. When trust is established, children make great strides in learning how to follow their parents lead and allow them to instill better habits in their lives. Children should know they can find security in their parents.

-E.